A review of the NFL post-season so far shows that there are certain formulas for success in the modern NFL. What are they?
by JB Cash
1) You win with a smart, accurate, strong armed QB of the Caucasian persuasion. Tom Brady, Brett Favre, Phillip Rivers, and anyone named Manning. Heck even Billy Volek, who was fantastic as a back-up for the Titans before he was fantastic as a back-up for the Chargers, played and played well. Unfortunately the Titans went “the other way” in choosing a QB and it got them the same thing that the Eagles, Vikings, Redskins and Jaguars got — early vacations.
2) White offensive linemen. Eighteen of the twenty offensive linemen in the conference championship games will be white That’s 90% in a league where 80% of the starters are black!! Surprise! We knew it was true: white linemen are the best. Recently the NFL has fallen in love with grossly overweight, sumo-sized black offensive lineman, because (and don’t laugh) they wanted to get “more athletic” linemen. Message to NFL GM’s, instead of non-athletic “athletic” lineman, go for the smart ones who really are athletic instead.
3) Throw the ball to the white guy! Even if you only have one, and that’s more than most NFL teams do, it pays to throw to a white receiver. Why? They catch the football. And they’re fast. Dallas Clark and Anthony Gonzales led the Colts in receiving against the Chargers; and Wes Welker had the most receptions for the Patriots against the Jaguars — and this year led the league in “yards after catch” — wow, those slow, “tight-hipped” white guys sure get a lot of mileage out of their “non-stop motors” and “deceptive speed”! Jason Witten led the Cowboys in receiving, becoming the first white tight end since Mark Bavaro in 1986 to surpass 1,000 receiving yards while racking up the third highest number of catches ever for a TE. Even Matt Jones was occasionally hauled out of mothballs by the otherwise coal black Jaguars to make some big catches and was third on Jacksonville in yards in very much part-time duty.
Since the NFL is the ultimate copycat league you would expect the other teams to follow suit and build their teams along the lines of these four winning clubs, all of whom start well above the league average number of white players. Don’t bet on it. Racial ignorance is rampant in football and if you live in a city with a losing club chances they are waiting to draft or sign an “athletic” QB, an “athletic” offensive lineman, and an “athlete” at receiver. (Hint: “athlete” is NFL code for “black” but don’t say it out loud because racial stereotyping is BAD! [NOTE: applies only to people with white skin].