Due to my numerous contacts, I’ve received the FAQ the White House is going to soon put out to answer people’s concerns about the immigration bill. It was written with help from the editorial staff at the Wall Street Journal. Here it is:
IMMIGRATION BILL FAQ
Q. I’m concerned that the immigration bill focuses more on giving illegal immigrants amnesty than border protection. Does the President share these concerns?
A. The President doesn’t hate brown people.
Q. This isn’t a racial issue. Many people think this bill will only encourage more illegal immigration and leave our borders open and dangerous. What are the answer to these charges?
A. To answer your underlying question, I’m afraid the President is against your proposal to commit genocide against Hispanics.
Q. This isn’t about Hispanics! This is about our laws being respected and our national security!
A. Unfortunately, America has had a long history of closed-minded bigots like you who hate all immigrants and want to keep the nation white and pure. To answer what we can only assume will be your next question, no, jackboots aren’t tax deductible, but have fun in your neo-Nazi march anyway.
Q. I’m not against immigrants! Why can’t you people understand there is a difference between legal and illegal immigration?! I’m only objecting to the illegal ones!
A. Calm down. It’s this frothing at the mouth anger that causes your irrational views on immigration. To answer your other concerns, Hispanics actually have excellent hygiene, are not lazy, and aren’t all criminals. Also, there has been no genetic evidence that Hispanics are inferior to the white man. I’d be careful about believing just any pamphlet handed out at your KKK meetings.
Q. With President Bush already having shaky support, do you think it’s wise to label people with legitimate concerns about illegal immigration “racists”?
A. Did anyone ever tell you have many blatantly homosexual tendencies?
Q. That’s it. I’m leaving the Republican Party.
A. And go where? The Green Party? Yeah, you have fun with that you brown-people hating, Nazi homo. Thanks for the questions!
What we find amazing about this spoof is the creepy feeling that we have actually run across people who really do respond this way — to even the benign questions about race and immigration! — EDITORS